Renee 3 Page 11

  Tears skied down the slopes of her cheekbones. She rubbed her shoulder, and when her performance didn’t receive a response, she looked up. Her mouth dropped and became dirt dry. Her crocodile tears were a failure. There was no pulling the wool over these eyes.

  The woman walked outside, her long-sleeved shirt the only barrier between her and the winter’s night. Her sweatpants were baggy and full of movement as the door closed behind her. Carmen backed up, her heart beating like music pulsing through headphones. She searched the woman’s facial expression, hoping she could read her mind. Minutes passed, and the woman said nothing, not a word, just taking in the vision of her little sister. Then finally, after years of Carmen not hearing her voice, she said, “Those legs you used to run away while Aunt Prue lay dying in her own blood led you here. What business do you have with us?” Madison was calm when speaking.

  Carmen was astonished that the first thing her older sister said to her in years dealt with an incident that had taken place only days before. It was heart stabbing, an unbelievable reality check that her family died with her mother.

  My mother, slid through Carmen’s mind. She never properly mourned the older version of herself. Carmen cried some, hit and broke a few things, but never did she taken the time to actually feel.

  “What do you want?” Madison rudely asked, her voice heightened as she stepped a bit closer to her sister, intimidation lingering in her movement.

  “What’s wrong with you? Aren’t you happy to see me?” Carmen stupidly asked.

  Madison chuckled. “Happy to see you? Where the fuck have you been? You search for me but never reach out, and when I’m not throwing a parade because you show up at my family’s house, you want to get emotional. I’m going to ask you one more time, what is it that you want?”

  Shock drifted away, and anger at how she was being treated after hours of finally collecting enough strength to knock on this door forced Carmen to spit out, “What do you want from me? You want me to apologize for being the one our parents kept around, or do you want me to apologize for not running to the strip club to witness my sister shaking her ass? I’m the youngest, the baby. Maybe you should have reached out to me, “ she spewed.

  The surge of anger that traveled through Carmen’s chest was a feeling never felt before. There were multiple feelings parading throughout her, determined to escape. The blow was low, swift, and breath-stealing. Carmen had enough of the ongoing disrespect during a time when she needed someone to console her, hug her, and tell her everything would be okay. However, she was crawling to people who were damn near strangers, in search of protection because she dug herself a grave a number of people were trying to push her into.

  As she stepped closer, Madison’s shirt blew in the wind and slammed against Carmen’s coat. She towered over Carmen, literally big sister and little sister. She caused her sibling to step backward and off the property.

  “Your mother really led you to believe you’re special, her baby, her Mini-Me.” Madison’s fingers combed through the strands of Carmen’s hair that fell from its clip. Madison remembered Raquel telling her to brush her hair a hundred times a night, and she did, alone with her mother’s voice guiding her in her head. Carmen’s hair was soft, a product of a hundred strokes per night and a validation that their mother taught the one thing she shared with Madison to her sister. There was nothing for only Raquel and Madison to share, no bond.

  “I don’t know what you want, but whatever it is, you’re not getting it here,” Madison told her, her voice filled with emotion. “You’ve had everything, so whatever need you have that drove you here will not be fulfilled, I can assure you of that.” Madison had no idea about Carmen’s dealings, but she would block anything and everyone from helping her. Carmen’s brat train ended here, and Madison’s daggers for words made her a new enemy.

  The look on Madison’s face was a work of art, a replica of how Renee looked when she too was angry: the curve of the lip, plunge of an eyebrow, and tightened of a cheek.

  “You can’t do this, Madison. You don’t know what you’re doing,” Carmen stressed. Without Zeke’s help, she was dead, a third member of their family dying within a span of a few weeks.

  “I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m stopping the person responsible for Prue’s death from hurting this family further. You did nothing during or after the fact. Those people wanted no one but you, and after Zeke saved your life, you ran, leaving them all to fend for themselves.”

  Real tears flooded down Carmen’s face. “I had to,” she babbled. “They would have killed me, and they’ll succeed if you don’t let me inside. Please let me make things right,” Carmen begged.

  Madison’s head jogged up and down. “So that’s what this is about? You’re scared, and you’re looking to Zeke for help.” Getting the answer she really wanted, Madison bypassed Carmen’s vulnerable moment and set her eyes on the house behind her. Every time she visited Prue’s home, she looked at that house, a habit she formed for no true reason. Seconds later, Madison continued speaking to Carmen, her connection to the house dwindling.

  “You’re cancerous, like your mother. Whatever you touch evaporates. I heard about Lyfe and Benz. I know more than you think. They dealt with you and magically died, just like that. I bet you had something to do with it, and I’ll tell you what, you will not bring that strand of bad luck over here.” Turning her back on her sister, Madison jogged up the stairs leading to her aunt’s, disappearing behind the door, then slamming it shut.

  Carmen ran up to the door, her balled fist in the air, determined to put a dent in the wood until she was granted access, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t enter her family’s life after meeting with Madison. She was irate, her body shook, and she stormed off, kicking trashcans on her way down the street and leaving her luggage where it sat.

  Zeke watched from behind the living room blinds as she disappeared down the street, the malicious words never secretly shared between the sisters.

  Chapter 19

  Renee timed it. Every five minutes, the ocean crept to shore and wet the sand. Her steps were large, but every time her giant steps landed in the sand, she was met with the waves saturating the gravel. The cold water relieved her hot skin. “I have an older sister,” Renee whispered. She didn’t look Dane’s way, only farther out into the beach. She didn’t know what sat at the end. She knew only that it was ongoing.

  “A letter was left behind when we went back,” Dane admitted.

  Renee nodded. She tried to digest everything Dane had told her about the murders, the letter, and Julian.

  “I can find her,” Dane suggested. She tried reading Renee’s thoughts and imagining how she felt when visualizing meeting another member of her family she knew nothing about. A member she could possibly look up to and pray was normal.

  In two minutes, the waves would cover Renee’s feet, so she waited for the salt water, hoping its coolness would help center her thoughts. Quicker than she thought, the cold liquid slammed against her feet.

  “She’s not my sister. She’s Carmen’s. There is not enough room for both of us in her life. This is bigger than a sibling rivalry. We want each other’s heads. Given the choice, if you were this new sister, who would you choose?” Renee’s head snapped in the direction of Dane.

  Dane thought it over, and Reagan came into view, then a stranger whose facial traits held their own, and her decision was made. “But what if she’s different, an outcast like yourself?”

  “What if she’s one of them? A self-absorbed savage?” Renee challenged. After a moment of silence, a question clicked inside Renee’s mind. “Why do you care? Why are you trying to form a relationship with Carmen’s sister and me?”

  “Because I worry for you,” Dane admitted. “Because I know that I will not be here forever, and when I’m gone, you will have no one. It will comfort me to know you have at least one person.”

  “I have Julian,” Renee answered. The comment rushed out of her mouth and stiffened
her legs. Renee didn’t intentionally develop the sentence in her mind. It was created in her subconscious and flew out of her mouth.

  Dane slowed her pace and gave Renee enough room to gather herself and speak her truth.

  After taking a deep breath, Renee let it all out. “I just can’t forget, can’t get the imagery of them together out of my head. But every time I see him, for the first few seconds, I forget it all and instruct my feet to race into his arms. But every time the first step is taken, reality hits me and I remember. I picture her with him and smell her on him, and that’s when I lose it, lose everything we have ever had.” Tears slid down Renee’s cheeks, the memory of love freshly engraved in her heart and soul. “I miss him, but at the same time, I need him away. I just don’t know for how long.”

  In front of Renee, the beach seemed longer than it had minutes prior. Accepting that she was walking toward nothing, she stopped and plopped down on the hot sand.

  “How do you forgive and forget?”

  Dane stood for a moment. She searched in the sea for an answer to give her protégé. “There’s no one answer to that question, Renee. Different answers are meant for different people. You just have to dictate which is yours. You can leave, sure, you already have, but is this where you want to be? Is your heart meant to be separate from his? Is this the best decision, or what you think is the best decision?” She paused. “Or you can go back, but if you do, track down your relationship’s dismantled pieces and fix it. Dissect what went wrong and operate on it, learn from it, and never turn back. Become one instead of living as two.”

  While speaking, Dane never looked at Renee. She was lost in the movement of the sea and in the words of her speech. Her legs wanted to sit but wouldn’t. This wasn’t the time for comfort, but a time for peace.

  “Did Metro ever cheat?” Renee asked.

  Dane shook her head. “No.”

  “If he did, would you ever take him back?”

  Without delay, Dane responded, “Yes.”

  The severe honesty and quick response caused Renee to gasp. She was sure Dane’s response would be gruesome, cold, and unforgiving. However, the opposite was given, and it made Renee think over her and Julian’s situation more. “Why?” Renee wanted to know.

  Dane wanted to give a long-winded, heartfelt, fairy-tale-ending response, but she couldn’t. Her mind would not conjure up one, because the only answer she had to give was, “Because I love him.” Sometimes life worked in ways the human mouth could not explain and the mind could not comprehend, or even create to express. So Dane spoke from her heart.

  “I still love him, Dane,” Renee revealed. For so long, she hid from those feelings. And now that she was vulnerable, she had to admit it, had to finally free herself of emotions. “And I want to go back.”

  Dane sat down. Renee’s face was full of tears. “Then go, but let Jared go.”

  Renee’s heart dropped. Jared was a creature not meant for her, a creature who was attracted to her pain, darkness, and isolation. He gave her what she needed when she couldn’t deal with what was meant for her. And the blow she was about to give him, she questioned if he could handle a second time around.

  “He won’t let me go.”

  “He won’t want to, but he’ll have to,” Dane answered.

  “What are we going to do with Carmen’s cousin? Before she’s dead, I want to strip her of every connection she possibly has and tear down her life just like she’s done mine,” Renee expressed.

  Dane knew Calloway would find his way to Zeke. Her number one rule was to research her prey, and that was exactly what Calloway did. Calloway knew Carmen’s cousin would eventually cross paths with Dane, but before she did, he wanted to have killed Carmen, taking away the one thing Dane lived to do. So Dane connected with Zeke in order to stay one step ahead.

  Dane understood where Renee’s question came from. Now that Zeke had proven to protect his family, it was time to cut all ties immediately, and Dane knew just how.

  “How quickly are you willing to let Jared go?”

  The question was weird, off-topic, and head-scratching. Renee looked at the ocean, the tide coming farther onto the shore. It touched her skin, and the comfort reminded her of Julian. A smile stretched across her face.

  “Like yesterday,” she replied.

  “Then use Jared for one more thing, and throw him away like he never existed.”

  Chapter 20

  “Why didn’t you tell us you were at Raquel’s funeral?”

  Madison was seconds from the kitchen until Zeke’s voice pulled her back. “What are you talking about?”

  “Raquel’s funeral. Why didn’t you tell me you were there?”

  Madison rewound to her reuniting with Carmen yesterday and wondered what Zeke knew. “What does it matter?” she asked.

  “You know the truth. You saw it all. Carmen may be too dumb to ask questions, but I know better. Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this shit is all because of Carmen?” Madison challenged.

  A question answered with a question. Madison’s query trumped Zeke’s, because the least of their problems was whether she was on the guestlist for her mother’s funeral. The issues they adopted from Carmen were priority and now endangered them all.

  “I didn’t think you needed to know. Dealing with two deaths is enough. There’s no need for me to anger you more.”

  Madison sat on the satin, cushioned chair seated next to the living room’s entrance.

  “I’ll take care of it,” Zeke assured.

  His cousin’s eyes squinted, and her face cramped together. “Take care of what?”

  “The people after Carmen. The people responsible for destroying your mother’s funeral and killing mine.”

  Madison’s eyes moved in every direction possible, and a crooked, uncomfortable smile settled on her face. “You’re going to take on her problems, the reason for all of this sudden mayhem?” she had to ask before jumping to conclusions. Madison had to make sure he was saying what she thought he was and not speaking in a foreign language.

  “What else would I do? Did you not see what they did?”

  “Yes! I saw my selfish brat of a sister bring death to our front door, and now you want to help her? Do you even know these people who are after her?” Madison saw no need to run to the defense of a person who could not sincerely apologize for their wrongdoings or check in on their family’s well-being.

  “Fuck what Carmen has to do with this. That bitch killed my mother!” Zeke’s breath increased, and his blood pressure turned his skin pale and hot. Dane killing his mother was chiseled in his memory, and he blamed himself for working with the enemy. Now he saw that, for whatever reason, Dane had used him and maybe Carmen too. He should have cut all business ties with Carmen the moment he decided to, but he couldn’t think about that now. He had to think about killing Dane.

  “That bitch was aiming at Carmen. It’s because of your dumb ass that she missed.” Madison’s words were hurtful but, at the same time, correct. Zeke was thinking more with his emotions, while Madison thought with her head. Was what happened right? No, but Madison believed nothing better would transpire from joining a war they had no part in from the beginning.

  Zeke stood from the couch. His mouth was glued shut, and his emotions were on a rampage. The comment Madison made repeated itself in his mind. “You don’t need to remind me of that, but still that woman’s reasonable. I know what I’m up against. It won’t be easy, but it won’t scare me away either. You should have let her in, Madison.”

  And just like that, history had repeated itself. Another family member had chosen Carmen over her, and the feeling of abandonment started to ease in. Anything except the truth was acceptable, and now Madison witnessed it with her own two eyes. Zeke tried to make an exit. However, Madison’s loud speech slowed him down, his feet dragging on the brown carpet he’d taken his mother to purchase.

  “She’s a stranger, Zeke. Family or not, we k
now nothing about her. Don’t do this. She never even called to see how any of you were doing after the shooting. She ran and left you and Uncle Roy like sitting ducks after you saved her, and she damn sure was not here to take responsibility for what she caused. She’s a user. Don’t fall for it,” Madison begged.

  “And what the fuck did you do?” Zeke lashed out. “What the fuck did you do to save us? Where were you, hiding somewhere? Why can we take you back in and not her? What makes you so damn special?”

  “Not a motherfuckin’ thing,” Roy interrupted. Roy stepped inside the living room he’d given his wife full range to decorate. His entrance was slow and full of negative energy, his tight face harboring pain in need of a release. “You have issues, little girl, if you think we are going to stand and let my wife’s murderer go free. If my son wants revenge, no one is going to stand in his way.” Roy loomed over Madison.

  “You’re thinking with your hearts,” Madison told them, “and not with your heads.”

  “You damn right,” Roy shot back. “And if you can’t respect that, then respect our home and get the fuck out!”

  Madison’s family kept throwing her away. They kept pushing her off the moment she did things they didn’t agree with, and now that it was happening again, she didn’t think she could forgive and rebuild. Madison nodded her head. There was nothing she could say for them to see things her way. To suggest they leave Prue’s killer untouched was craziness, and when she said it to herself, she understood their disagreement. However, Madison was looking deeper into the error of their ways. She was examining Carmen and predicting that if they kept her under their wing, more travesties would follow, and no one would ever be happy.