Renee Page 13

  “If you’re sure about this, if this is what you want, then it’s a go. Just know there’s no turning back. Once you lose your mother, there’s no going back.”

  Renee’s eyebrows caved in, and her eyes darkened. The cold, emotionally deprived woman whom Julian wished away every night had returned.

  “I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life. In order to lose a mother, you must have once had one.”

  She stroked his hand, and he felt at ease. He had always thought the ultimate revenge was offing Curtis and leaving Sheila alone. But after revisiting the situation, he now realized that a mother who kept quiet and did nothing about abuse was just as guilty as the man who committed the crime. Both evils were equal, and now that he saw that, he understood what Renee needed to do, and he felt justified about putting a hit out on them both, without Renee’s knowledge. It was the right thing. Everyone and anyone who had hurt Renee deserved to die, and no one would get a “get out of jail free” card. Even though Julian despised Sheila and couldn’t wait for the day she was wiped off this earth, he craved seeking revenge against Curtis. It motivated him when bad days showed their face.

  Curtis had took Renee’s innocence away, and Julian believed he was one of the reasons she’d aborted their child. Julian didn’t care if he was in prison. That wasn’t enough, because as long as Curtis was still breathing, eating, and having an hour of recreation a day, he still had it good, according to Julian. The thought of Dane taking Curtis’s life in the place where Curtis had spent many years made a smile creep across Julian’s face. His trip to Jamaica to meet with her and plan his hit was the best thing he could have ever done, and he couldn’t wait until it was carried out.

  As if in deep thought, Renee bowed her head. When she finally looked up and didn’t say a word, Julian knew she was asking for his approval and support when it came to killing her mother. He knew she needed him now more than ever.

  He squeezed her hand, then kissed it. “I’ll get Dane on the phone.”

  Renee smiled. “She’s my favorite. Not to mention, she and her husband remind me of Bonnie and Clyde. Kinda like us, only assassins.” She entwined her fingers with his.

  Julian returned the smile. Hearing the word us in the same sentence in which couples were mentioned made him believe they were a couple too. He knew that before he assumed anything, he had to hear her say it.

  Julian stood up and pulled Renee up with him, then pressed her body to his. Renee didn’t put up a fight. She was tired of running away from love, and she knew that in order to start over and become a better person, she had to express her love to Julian. She had to make this relationship official and stop playing this “friends with benefits” game. Renee had to tell him she loved him and only him, that is, if she wanted happiness as much as she claimed to.

  Julian placed his lips to her ear. “I love you,” he whispered.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have said it first, maybe he should have let her open up on her own, but he couldn’t help it. He had to give her a little push.

  Renee opened her mouth, but no words came out.

  All I have to do is say it back. Everything will make sense and will become a little better if I say it back. Besides, isn’t that how I feel? she thought.

  Renee closed her eyes and shook her head. The words I love you were foreign to her. She rarely, if ever, said those words. And now that Julian needed her to utter them, she found it difficult to do.

  She looked up at Julian, who was staring back at her. He showed no emotion, but she knew he wanted her love. And, damn it, he deserved it. Renee smiled a radiant smile and told him, “I love you.”

  Julian couldn’t hide his happiness. For years, he’d waited to hear those words escape her mouth, and now that he had, he wanted to sing and dance. But then his smile quickly disappeared, and seriousness took hold of him.

  “You love me, but what exactly does that mean?” As much as he loved her, he honestly couldn’t be her fool for much longer. He needed to know exactly where their relationship was heading.

  Renee rubbed his face, and Julian felt himself melting into her palm. Her touch was the smoothest thing ever.

  “What does it mean? It means that it’s you and me against the world, baby. It means that we’re the new Bonnie and Clyde, and the last time I checked, Bonnie and Clyde were a couple.”

  That was all Julian needed to hear. He picked her up and laid her down on the bed. Then they consummated their relationship.

  Chapter 19

  “Poison . . . poison is my favorite way of murdering my victims.” Dane took a sip of her red wine, and her bloodred lipstick left her lip prints on the wineglass. “I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that with poison, I can literally sit back and watch the victim commit suicide from start to end, without any interruptions.”

  Metro, Dane’s husband, slowly shook his head and grinned. “It’s not suicide if you’re poisoning them, Dane.”

  “I know, but them eating or drinking whatever I’ve put poison in always makes me believe that they’re committing suicide. For example, I truly believe that if they didn’t want to die, they wouldn’t consume whatever I’ve put the poison in. I believe they’d suddenly remember that they have an engagement to attend, their clothes to pick up from the cleaners, or a telephone call to make. Their subconscious or survival instincts would kick in. But if they don’t hesitate for that brief moment, if they don’t think twice about what they’re about to devour or drink, I believe subconsciously, they want to die and therefore are committing suicide.”

  A smirk came across her face, making even her eyes smile. Metro looked at her with loving eyes. From her seat at the head of the long table, Renee watched the couple interact. There was no denying that the two were madly in love. No one would have ever imagined that these two people, who were such a dangerous combination, could be so kind and loving toward each other.

  Dane, a ruthless assassin, and Metro, a retired kingpin who had supplied hundreds of dealers, were an unlikely duo, but one that worked well. They had met through Dane’s aunt Laura. At the time, Laura was running Staten Island’s drug supply and was in need of a new connect, so she sought out Metro’s services. Metro had a background check run on Laura, as did with every person he was considering doing business with, and this included having her followed to learn whom she socialized with. Metro was supplied with pictures of Dane, and he instantly fell in love. He courted her, and within two years, they were married and inseparable.

  For years Renee had admired their love. Sitting across from them now, she became more hopeful that living a life of love and happiness was possible. And it gave her additional confirmation that putting a hit out on her parents was long overdue and a necessity if she wanted peace.

  Ten years Renee’s senior, Dane was like a big sister to her. She had shown Renee the love Renee’s own family had withheld, and Dane had made her feel a part of something. Renee had never revealed her full life story, but Dane could see that she was a hurt young woman in need of guidance. Because of that, she had introduced Renee and Julian to the game and had made them her and Metro’s protégés.

  Renee had met Dane at Barnes & Noble while she was away at school. The two women had lived in the bookstore, and after seeing each other for the millionth time, they’d finally decided to have a conversation. They’d hit it off while conversing about literature and the hardships of life. After some time passed, during which Dane found no faults in her new friend, she took Renee under her wing and introduced her to Metro. Instantly, Renee became the couple’s favorite person, and when the time came for Metro to retire, he handed her his crown and schooled her on the game. Metro supplied her with his knowledge and contacts, while Dane provided protection. In time Renee took over new territory, territory that Metro hadn’t owned, and made a name for herself.

  As they sat around the long table now, everyone leaned back in their chair. They had just devoured the marvelous dinner Renee had prepared. Lobster, steak,
shrimp, baked chicken, rice, potatoes, spinach, corn, devil’s food cake encased in white frosting, and parfaits with whipped cream had once graced the table. There was now nothing more than crumbs atop the plates, and while everyone desired to finish even those, they just couldn’t.

  One of Renee’s pleasures was cooking. She enjoyed it because it took her mind off her miserable life for the few hours that she allowed herself to indulge in it. Renee had learned how to cook from her mother. She used to watch her sashay around the kitchen and cook like her life depended on it. Her mother had tried to teach Page, who couldn’t have cared less about the ins and outs of preparing a meal. Renee would pretend she was doing something like mopping the kitchen floor, when really she was listening and learning how to prepare a five-star dish. Julian loved when she cooked. For the few hours she devoted to cooking each time, she shed her ice queen persona and became a normal woman and his dream come true.

  “I have to tell you, Renee, I don’t know how you managed to cook such a feast. Are you sure you didn’t hire a chef or something?” Metro’s right eyebrow rose.

  “You know you taught me better than to have someone cook for me if I don’t have to. I’m not out of the game like you. I can’t have chefs and shit like that yet,” Renee replied.

  Renee ate a piece of shrimp that was left on her plate, and Metro smiled. Years ago, when he schooled her, he’d taught her always to be overly cautious in the business they were in. Sometimes the smallest things, things people never viewed as a threat, such as someone preparing their food, could lead to their demise. Enemies came in many forms. Anyone could pose a threat. He was proud she remembered everything he’d taught her.

  “Then you have to come out to Jamaica and cook for us sometime, especially when we have guests. You will put our chefs to shame.” Metro took a sip of his wine and glanced over at Dane, remembering the chef that had no clue how to make collard greens two weeks ago.

  Renee shook her head. “No thanks. I lost a night’s sleep over making this spread. I’m not trying to lose weeks of sleep by making food for hundreds of your friends. You’re too popular, Metro.”

  Dane finished her red wine, poured herself another glass, and looked over at Renee, her eyes piercing through her soul. Sometimes Renee wondered if Dane was one of the reasons that she was so cold. Granted, when she left home and headed to college, her heart had already been broken and her anger full blown, but Renee couldn’t help but wonder if Dane had shattered her heart and made her into a beast.

  Dane and Metro had molded Renee into the most ruthless queenpin New York had ever seen. They had taught her that feelings would get you killed. Therefore, she must not show any. They had made her more angry and had rationalized this by telling her that her anger would come in handy when she was running the streets. They had created a monster. But the one thing they had failed to teach her was how to turn the coldness off and become human again. Renee sat there looking at Dane, her mentor, her sister, and she wondered whether she should thank Dane for the riches and the power she had bestowed or curse her for the additional pain this lifestyle had brought her.

  “Okay. We ate, drank, talked, and laughed. Now we do business,” Dane announced.

  Renee had been dreading this moment. She wanted the hit on her mother and her stepfather to go through with all her might, but she didn’t want to have the conversation with Dane that was about to take place. She eyed the Pinnacle bottle, lifted it, and poured the vodka into her glass until it almost ran over the rim.

  “Let’s do business,” Renee responded.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” Dane held her glass so tight, it almost burst.

  “Yes.”

  “She’s your mother.”

  “I know.”

  “Why?” Dane leaned over the table, and her brown skin glistened under the ceiling lamp. Her long hair was slicked back into a tight ponytail, and it dangled over her shoulder, nearly landing in her plate. Dane wanted answers, and her tone was anything but polite.

  Renee didn’t answer. All she did was sip her drink.

  Dane knew Renee was stubborn. She never cared to talk about her life. Whenever the topic of her family was brought up, Renee simply shut down. They were nothing but people she had lived with once upon a time.

  “You do know I ask every client of mine who puts a hit out on their mother why. If I don’t believe the reason is good enough, I don’t do it,” Dane explained. “And don’t think about getting another assassin, because I’m the best.”

  “I don’t want another assassin. I want you.”

  Killing a client’s mother was a touchy issue for Dane. Before she turned into a contract killer, she had actually been normal and had lived a life only people on TV, like the Cosbys, had. She was the oldest of three kids, the daughter of an architect and a lawyer who had turned into a stay-at-home mom. Her childhood had been great. She and her mother had been best friends, and they’d done everything together. Her mother had always had cookies or brownies waiting for her after school. She had been there for Dane during her first heartbreak, had helped her pick out her prom dress, and had visited her almost every week during her first year of college so she wouldn’t be so homesick. Their relationship had been so special that Dane had thought everyone’s mother was like hers.

  Of course she’d known there were mothers out there that were horrible, but not to the extent that their children wanted them dead. She didn’t find out how horrible some women could be until she became an assassin and people put hits out on the women who had birthed them. When she asked them why they wanted their mother dead, she heard lots of horrid reasons.

  “She molested me.”

  “By the time I was ten, she had broken ten of my bones, one every year.”

  “My mother used to test her products on me. What better way to prove her drugs were better than her competitors’ than to show it.”

  In those moments, she knew that she was lucky to have had the mother she had, whom she missed terribly. Both Dane’s mother and father were murdered when their restaurant was broken into and robbed. That was the event that had led Dane to drop out of her last year of medical school, slaughter her parents’ murderers, and become addicted to killing. Timid, harmless Dane had fallen into a dark hole and had dedicated her life to protecting her two younger siblings, who were in the custody of her drug-dealing aunt and uncle, and killing for pay. Dane was a shattered woman with a knowledge of medicine and an addiction to killing: two things that had earned her a great amount of money. But she always had to know why she a client wanted someone killed.

  “Then tell me why,” Dane ordered, staring at Renee. Her glass was now on the table, and her nails dug into the cherry-colored tablecloth.

  Renee wouldn’t answer. She merely stared back. The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

  Metro tossed a piece of chicken left over on his plate into his mouth and chased it down with wine, knowing Dane would not give up.

  Julian finished his drink and poured himself another, knowing Renee wouldn’t give in.

  It was like a scene from an old Western, except both men were on the sidelines, looking on while the women walked in circles, never taking their eyes off one another, with their hands on their guns. All that was left to be do was for someone to yell, “Draw!” and whoever got to their gun fast enough and shot would win.

  The only difference was, Dane was not going to win. She had found happiness in Metro, and she had eventually found the three people who murdered her parents and had killed them. She had had some sort of closure; Renee hadn’t. The people who had hurt her were still walking. She couldn’t give herself to Julian 100 percent until they were dead. For Dane to expect her to give her what she wanted was unrealistic. Renee was like no other.

  The two women continued staring at each other. Renee remained in her same position, her expression never changing and her lips never moving. After ten minutes, Dane sat completely back and took a deep breath. She was close t
o Renee and viewed the young woman as her sister. So she let her have this one. She’d do this one favor for her, without knowing why, but only this one time.

  “You’re a stubborn woman, Renee, but I’ll let your reasons remain just that, your reasons. But are you willing to tell me why your stepfather?”

  When Dane asked that question, Renee wanted to tell her everything, from top to bottom. She wanted to tell her that he was the devil and that he had ruined her, that he had robbed her of her innocence and zest for life, but she couldn’t tell it, couldn’t get the words out of her mouth.

  “Let’s just say he’s a thief,” was all Renee told her. “I want this done as soon as possible, and I want them to die slowly. The worst death is a slow death. I want them to know why they’re dying. All you have to tell them is that they know what they did to me. They’ll know. You’ll see it in their eyes.”

  Dane nodded. She would take this hit very seriously. Whatever these individuals had done, it was enough for Renee’s anger to lead her to the top.

  Metro loudly let out his breath. He had been holding it the whole time. He said, “Now that that’s over, like I was saying earlier, that was a good-ass meal.”

  He sat back comfortably and rubbed his stomach. Everyone sat in silence as they drank the wine. No one at this table was normal. They had all been hurt, and their souls cried out for one reason or another, but they were good at what they did. They would work the streets until the wheels fell off.

  Chapter 20

  After discovering that Page wanted Renee dead and gone, Lincoln had found himself watching his back wherever he went. Anyone who was willing to kill their own flesh and blood was a certified psycho, and Lincoln didn’t trust them. All he could think about was Page coming after him if she found out he knew her secret. For days, he had been on edge and had wanted to relay the information to Julian so he’d take care of things and leave Lincoln in the clear. The fact was Lincoln wasn’t built for this. All he wanted was to have a good time with an older woman. He’d also reached out to Julian because he felt he owed it to Renee to inform her of the danger she was in. He was grateful that he and Julian had finally exchanged words and that Julian had agreed to meet up.